Home Dating Articles Avoiding the “Perpetual Online Dater” Trap
Avoiding the “Perpetual Online Dater” Trap E-mail

There are people who are perpetual online daters.  You know the type.  They just want to meet people, and more people, and more people.  Sometimes we call these people "players", always playing the field and going on another date with someone new.  There's nothing wrong with this person, but if you're doing online dating to meet someone special in your life, you don't want to get stuck with perpetual daters who have no interest in committing to anything.

A perpetual dater is someone who spends all of their time online looking for a new date on their internet matchmaking site.  They never want to take relationships to the next level, and often join multiple internet dating sites to meet the most people.  These people are quick to bolt when you ask for a more substantial relationship.  This is not what you want to be stuck with!

When trying to determine if you or someone you're dating is a perpetual online dater, look for the tell-tale signs.  Do you or your date want to always go home early to check messages and constantly know who has contacted you via the online dating site? Do you compare the person you're talking with to someone else's profile that you've just read about?  Are you or your date totally relaxed about dating because you have no need to make a commitment to anyone?

Here are some other questions to ask if none or all of these are ringing a bell.  Do you not want to commit to a relationship until you find someone who is absolutely perfect?  Do you find it hard to choose between going on a date with someone you've already dated or going out with someone new?  When there is a breakup, are you back online within 24 hours looking for a new date, like water off a duck's back?  Is your online dating profile always active, even when you're seeing someone all the time?  Do you keep it that way just in case something more interesting comes along? 

The questions don't stop there either.  Chances are, you might recognize your habits in many of these questions.  Are you a member of more than one internet dating site?   Did you stop seeing one of your dates because a better option came along on the internet dating site?  Have you dated upwards of 3 different people in one week? 

I'm sure you see where I'm getting at with all of this.  If you sense in yourself or in a date that you really like that commitment is hard to come by and you're always looking at the next hot profile to come along, then you are a serious perpetual online dater.  This isn't a terrible sin, but it does mean that you're not ready to commit to anything good, because you've decided that things need to be perfect to really take them to the next level. 

I'll leave you with this to ponder:  Online dating is less emotionally risky.  People falsely believe that because they're using an internet dating site that they don't have to commit or be a quality human being.  You need to respect the people that you're dating and makes goals to be more available to people.  If you set your sites on finding someone to learn and grow with, not some perfect online date that is everything you've ever dreamed of, than you have a realistic goal that can yield wonderful matchmaking results!

Last Updated on Monday, 01 December 2008 20:55
 

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